Hepatectomy

Today on the last day of my surgery rotation I helped cure an old lady of cancer by taking out the entire right side of her liver. (mostly I watched and held held a retractor sometimes)

I have a strong understanding of the importance of what we did. But there is something about being in the moment of surgery where the gravity of seeing all the arterial and venous architecture of the liver dissected away is lost on me. This is stuff that even most physicians rarely see more than once unless they are surgeon specializing in liver surgeries. And while my instructor is telling me this and having me touch these vessels with my own hands to feel the blood pulsing through them I am just thinking about how sore she's going to be when she wakes up. 

So for a third year rotation I got to be very involved with these surgeries.  But I think I learned that while caring for critically ill surgical patients is interesting - actually standing around an operating table is not my cup of tea. 

The cartoon picture from the San Francisco Center for Liver Disease is about as close as I will get to that again. 

This one time in med school

We had a clinical medicine lecture on facial lacerations. And then the next day I was lacerated by a softball. 11 stitches. Three dissolving subcutaneous and eight 6.0 simple interrupted.

Grateful to my support team/compadres who stayed with me the whole time (and wished they were doing the stitches themselves): Nikki and Danny.

Before and after for the record and your viewing pleasure.

Application Update

As things stand:

The perverbial ball is in their court.

VCOM has already decided that, though I was qualified, I didn't not rate high enough in their applicant pool and said "not this year. But, hey! try our post-bacc program."

WVSOM has me on deferred status. As today is March first and it has been about a month since they received the final parts of my application and pretty much everyone who is going to apply has to have applied by now, they may be revisiting me as a potential D.O. candidate.

PCOM will be opening the final part of my application package today (which I've had almost three months to get together - more on procrastination later). Their application deadline was also today. So, again, all who will be applying have applied. If they still have any of the 250 spots available for 2010, I am in the running for one. Besides a couple of glowing letters of recommendation and a review of my transcripts (which they saw before they asked me to continue applying) they will read this:

________________________

Every person has a story. Going from patient to patient as a volunteer in the emergency room I have heard many stories that involve significant suffering. That need for hope and cry for help compels me to take action. People want to feel that their stories are valid. If a few minutes of compassionate listening can begin to plant the seeds of hope, how much more powerful when combined with medical care and health education. A hopeful patient will get well, but they can not always initiate that hope on their own.

I believe that the world can be more vibrant and healthy than it is now. I also believe that I can play an instrumental role in improving it. I have faith that by continuing to do my best to elevate the lives of those around me the world will become a better place. I am convinced that my greatest ambition is to continue pursuing health care. From my first semester of college I have been directing myself such that I am able to relate to all kinds of people, understand health and disease and integrate myself into the medical field. I soak up new ideas and personal stories like a sponge. The more I assimilate, the more I am compelled to climb higher and continue my quest to restore health and hope. Medical school is the next step for me on that journey.

I must continue climbing. As a child I wanted to know everything but I quickly learned that the wealth of knowledge before me was vast, and I could achieve more if I focused my attention on one field. To me, physicians have the most useful training and abilities. The knowledge they hold and authority they possess are combined to improve the health and wellness of their patients. Because of my dedication to renewing the hope and health of others, my fullest potential would be realized as an osteopathic physician.

In my quest for knowledge, I seek the very best. I believe that you have the best program in the country. My mentor, Dr. Stephen Restaino, is a graduate of PCOM. It is stated on your web site that in your curriculum you emphasize looking "beyond the person in front of you and discovering the social and economic factors that impact him or her." I have seen firsthand how that priority in his education has continued to shape Dr. Restaino's approach to medicine for the past twenty nine years. I want that same emphasis in my own medical education. I realize that many osteopathic programs are established in rural, small town environments. While the countryside is where my roots are and a noble place to practice medicine I believe that a metropolis is more conducive to education. I thrive in an urban environment and I believe that for access to diversity and information there is no better place than the city.

I can not wish the world into a better place. But with the skills, knowledge and authority that I am hungry for I can work to improve health and give hope to many people.

________________

So here's to the right people taking my application seriously. Being compelled by the taste they are starting to get of who I might be that they must invite me for an interview to see me for themselves. Not that I'm some spectacle or too good to be true, but because they realize that I am ready for success and they can play a part in that and there by allow a little more compassion to flow out into the world.

Five Qualities (open for critique)

Family – Love, humor, responsibility. I am the oldest of six siblings. I am a husband and a brother-in-law. I am a classmate, a teammate, and a roommate. I have many good friends and I am a good friend to many. I attended birthdays, weddings, commencements, graduations, funerals, and cookouts. I actively instill an almost tangible quality into every relationship in which I engage to the point that walking into class feels like a family reunion.

Athleticism – Energy, creativity, team building. I have participated in athletic activities since I was a child. I believe in physical fitness for training the build up and release of energy in both athletic and professional activities. I love to employ improvisation in group sports like soccer, and also to create new games to allow a playful free thinking approach to challenges. Team sports cultivate communication and interdependence that translates easily to a professional and/or academic setting where we must rely on and support our peers.

Ingenuity – Courage, dedication, initiative. I have a knack for appreciating the mission of an organization and finding ways to improve it. In the Religious Studies department at UVA, I founded a peer mentorship program to help make newcomers feel more included and well oriented. At Rosetta Stone I developed new sales techniques. Growing up on a farm, I planted potatoes in old tire treads to increase warmth and retention of nutrients.

Stamina – Vigilance, perseverance, faith. From supporting myself through college, to riding my bicycle everywhere I go, to working three part time jobs at once, to entering long distance foot races - I take on more than seems possible and exhibit stamina in finishing what I start no matter how tough it gets.

Inspiration – Hope. I discover inspiration in many places – the pages of National Geographic Magazine, watching Olympic athletes, listening to a pediatrician give wellness advice to his patients. Many people continue to put hope, faith and love into me because I have a tremendous capacity to receive inspiration and use it to make their world a little better. In return, I seek through both example and guidance to inspire those around me by supporting my peers and kindling the fire in rising generations.

Just in Case

So I am also applying to the post-bacc graduate program at VCOM so that just in case I do not get into medical school on this go around, I have something set up to boost my competitiveness for the next go around.

The application for this is very similar to the secondary application to their medical program. Two birds with one stone, right?

I have to introspect now. I have to figure the top five qualities that I "feel" I bring to VCOM that would enhance the overall climate of their college.

This is so obvious. I'm Smart, Funny, Talented, Good looking and I have a great wife.

Yet I have been working on this HALF PAGE "essay" for longer than I spent on my AACOMAS personal statement.

I trick myself into thinking that I can not be as direct (trite and nondescript) as I just was above and that I have to pick qualities that are unusual or something. I can't decide HOW to write it. Should I write it as a list of categorically exclusive qualities each with their own backing example? Or as an essay where one or two stories illuminate several qualities. The problem with the categories is that as I get into picking apart different qualities and finding examples for each of them I find that they are really all interconnected. Then it seems like I am trying to dissect sub-atomic particles and if I go through with writing it down I'm going to cause a nuclear chain reaction and the investigators will later not be able to determine if the explosion originated from my heart or my head. So in an act of self-preservation (or procrastination) I start leaning toward Plan B and I realize that I still have not chosen which five qualities that I feel are all that enhancing and different and more interesting than the other applicant's five qualities.

I have tried listing lots of qualities and then trying to sort them into quality categories but that pretty much comes down to faith, hope and love. And as great as they seem, that's only three, not five. And they do not really have a catchy ring like: Organization, determination, stamina, creativity, flexibility, achievement oriented, initiative, responsibility, dependability, good humor, team work, confidence, inspiration(al). Decisive? BLAH.

So, what should be obvious by now is that I'm writing about this in order to procrastinate actually focusing on the essay. But you know those stupid 3D images that are supposed to pop out at you if you focus on them just right. They never work for me, and I feel like this essay is like a 3D poster designed to frustrate me. So I'm trying to relax my focus and look beyond the problem. Because that is what they tell you to do, not to focus directly on the sail boat.

stick it on with soap

When I am a doctor I am so going to take enthusiastic young students under my wing as they apply to and transition into medical school. I'm going to go out and find them. It won't be any secret that spending time with Casey Turner will help you find out about being a physician and getting into medical school. They'll all know that I'll encourage them and challenge them and even tell them where they need to improve.

Now, where the hell is my Casey Turner!